Agender

Sometime in 2019 or 2020 I was described as “the most masculine person” someone had ever dated.

I have been flummoxed ever since, but increasingly so as time has progressed.

For much of my life since early childhood, I had never been able to understand that gender could be a

significant part of a person’s life and self image. 

I believe I’ve generally held a persistent aversion to caring about these sorts of things and instead of considering that I was atypical in this manner, I concluded that seemingly everyone else on the planet was being unreasonable.

Clearly, this isn’t founded in reason — nevertheless I’ve had hesitancy in calling myself a negation of something rather than an affirmative thing in of itself.  That being said I found something vivid illuminate in my mind when I heard “ἐγώ εἰμι/ I am” when dabbling in theology as well as “אֶהְיֶה אֲשֶׁר אֶהְיֶה/ I Am that I Am.”  Ultimately, that’s all I can be, and so even if I’ll herein call myself agender; that’s really a means to clarify that I am I. 

In terms of myself I don’t think I’m someone who rejects a gender identity, but rather I am someone who has nothing. To have nothing rather than not have something.  As a matter of practicality, people should call me whatever that which their audience would reasonably understand to mean me. 

I’m hopeful in having this generative and affirmative life rather than one of negation. I was supposed to do this before I went to Collision in March, but it turns out it’s much more straightforward to come home from work and play melee rather than write something heartfelt about who you are as a person. 

I wanted to thank blummbo for the new art and for keeping it a secret for so long.

I would like not explicitly not thank Lio for guessing correctly and taking away all my thunder!

Fortunately I managed to convince myself that finishing this by my birthday was the only reasonable thing to do. 

Happy birthday to me.

I can't believe in the time it's taken me to write this it appears that twitlonger no longer works.

Everyone Say; "Thank you, Blummbo!"